Introducing Chores to your children 10-20-09

This past Tuesday we had the pleasure of hearing Erica Graff speak on assigning chores to our children. Erica is a mother of 4 children from the ages of 12-5. She firmly believes that chores should be part of a childs up-bringing and she came to tell us why. Erica was so funny & gave us tons and tons of information.

I am going to list out her main points of chore training. She gave us some great handouts as well on age appropriate chores.

A. These floors need a sweep - The "whys'" of chores

1. Chore training is good for a mom:

• You need help

• It's good to know we have taught our child a skill for the future

2. Children who do regular chores are natural helpers and will pitch in anywhere to help

3. Prepares our children for the workforce and how to be good employee's

4. Helps them be better mates, especially boys

5. Chores allow children to feel valued & accepted within the family unit

6. Teaches our children that any contribution made within the home is just as important as

outside the home contributions.

7. They learn self esteem based on real accomplishments

8. You wont panic when someone stops by unexpectedly because you have routine chores

9. Your child/ren will be less self-centered

10. You will feel more appreciated in your home

B. Wielding the Broom - the "how's" of chores"

1. Do not set your child/ren up to fail.

Example: "Go clean your room" What does that mean to a child? Especially one that hasn't learned what you mean by that statement.

2. Make chores age appropriate

• assign chores all the way down to the youngest child. They all need to learn

• observe what each child can do & assign wisely

3. Routine is important! Kids find comfort in routine

• children need routine in doing their chores, it will become "normal", part of what you do

• children see sporadic chore cleaning as an interruption to their day and aren't as willing to help out.

4. Show your child/ren Step by Step how to do the chore

• work with them as they are learning how to do chore
  
• then observe them doing the chore by themselves
  
• check up on their progress regularly

5. Make rooms in your home child/ren friendly

• especially true of rooms they are responsible for cleaning.
  
• baskets/bins with labels
  
• shelves

6. Give praise freely and deliberately for jobs well done.

7. Have an ending point to when chores will be done by or when they must be done.

8. Make the consequences known for not completing a chore

9. Make the reward or motivation known - if your child needs this

C. Into the dustpan -

1. Chore charts work well with younger children

• they can see what is expected - as they are more visual
  
• makes chores more concrete to understand

2. Older kids like check off lists

3. Make it fun! Have a family chore day with an ice cream sundae night as the reward

4. Provide the cleaning tools for each chore

• little kids love props, let them start by playing with items used to clean IE... broom
  
  

D. Don't sweep the dirt under the carpet -

1. Boys by nature are harder to train, but do not give up. Their spouse will thank you later

2. Temptation to stop chores during difficult/busy times should not be an option. Back to routine.

3. In the beginning the training is hard & there is more work but it does pay off

4. Don't drop chore training if you meet resistance

a. find that child's motivation and work with it

5. Do NOT re-do the chore your child just completed!!! If your child sees you re-doing the chore they just did it will take away their motivation to complete it in the future & it could hurt their self-esteem leaving them thinking "I never do it right"